May 19, 2014

One of You: High School Graduation

Dear Friends,

I write these posts to you two assuming that one of you will be like me and retain the Love that brought you two together; that one of you will retain your Faithfulness and Fidelity to two-thirds of your marriage bonum and that one of you will keep your word in honoring the vow you spoke before your God and your spouse. One of you has to have already accepted that he or she will be the one who will stand - alone - at the Foot of your Marital Cross, because the other has decided its just too damn hard to do and is tired of being unhappy. For if one of you hasn't, then reading this is pointless, because the Great Tempter has already won - with both of you - and is whooping and hollering it up in the infernal regions, joyful and sneering that he has decimated and destroyed another Catholic Family. IF, however, one of you has truly retained that which you willingly gave to the other all those years ago; IF one of you has chosen to continue to defend your marriage and your children; IF, despite your spouses status as a Petitioner and despite the estrangement with some of your kids - and their will be - you can still say to them all "I Love You", then read on and let me paint you a picture of the next High School graduation ceremony you attend:

One of you will not get an invitation, but you will be expected to be there anyway. One of you will wonder "why even bother", as he hasn't spoken but 5 words to you in 4 years and one of you will know that you will attend anyway. One of you will buy a not-too-generic Graduation Card, but one much less than what you truly want to buy.  One of you will write a brief greeting and sign the card "Love Always...", as you have always done these past four years. (And one of you will remember the dozens of other letters and cards left answered by your kids over the same four years.) One of you will write a short and brief personal note to your graduate and wish him Good luck and God Bless, and that yes, you will be at the Graduation Ceremony. One of you will dread as the hour approaches and you accept this little cross as you drive to the school. One of you will set in the bleachers, once again across the gym floor opposite from your former spouse and her new spouse #2. One of you will read the graduation program and find that your graduate has listed the military as his future and one of you will feel a sharp pain as this is the first you knew of it. One of you will find the only way to ensure you're not always looking across the gym floor is to leave your glasses off until your graduates name is called. One of you will leave the bleachers early to wait in the lobby before the graduates process out, and one of you will wait impatiently for them to do so. One of you will - gratefully - see your son has been one of the first out, and one of you will all but rush over before his Mother comes out. One of you will warmly and firmly shake his hand and say "Congratulations, Son. God Bless and keep you safe" and then turn and walk away. One of you will know that this is not right, but there is nothing else that you can do and one of you will wipe away a tear. One of you will drive to the Church and kneel before Our Lady's Altar and say a Rosary for your son's safety and one of you will ask Her to especially watch over him should he find himself in battle and beg Her to bring him safely home. One of you will end your prayers begging for yourself, the Graces needed to remain Faithful to your Marriage and to your Family. One one of you will plead to Her NEVER to abandon you, for you know you would fall and never get back up. And one of you will return home, more willing than ever to carry this Cross that will see yourself and your family into Paradise. 

My Dear Friends, I will say to you again:
IT. IS. NOT. WORTH. IT! YOU. DO. NOT. WANT. THE. LIFE. I. HAVE. LIVED. THESE. PAST. FOUR. YEARS!!!

Whatever your marital difficulties are, if you believe that the grass is greener over on that other side, just remember one thing: the grass will always be greener above where the septic tank sludge flows, but dig beneath and you will find it's true color and stench. 


Copyright 2014 David Heath - All Rights Reserved